Just a Thought?

Smoking in the daylight. . . Is there anything more obscene? To enjoy a beautiful sun shining day. A cool breeze with the soft scent of autumn entering the air. Occasionally the aroma of burning things, wood and leaves, the smell is intoxicating. Then along a gust of tepid air there is found the hint of  a cigarettes familiar smoke. Suddenly the senses are alert and alive, yearning for the temptation that lurks in the folds of the winds. The air curls under the nostrils, ensnaring lust. Oh twisting, turning incense of death. Oh, sweet pleasure, wonderful release. Lips pursed, cheeks pulled in, saliva salivating, tongue grasping the upper palate while breathing deeply the flavorful bouquet. Long and slow and deep, pleasure erupts down your body. Through the lungs and around the stomach giving a brief moments reaction close to that of a roller-coaster. Down through, YES! Down through the legs and out. Forcing a tingling feeling throughout the toes and an accomplished feeling of release. The moment passed you are satisfied and a personal boundary had not been broken. The pleasure was satiated, yet superficial. There is no true satisfaction, but you can fool yourself in that blinded way. The gust trespasses again, thus unwanted. The airways close up to restrict the poison. “HA! I do not need this filth.” The mind tries to force the senses into some kind of reasoning, some rational process. But the senses slowly win over…soft scented musky, smoky, complex loveliness. The resistance proves too much, an American Spirit, a lighter… As smoke hits the tongue, it is tasted, just how imagined. The inhale is long, to savor and enjoy while holding it for just a moment to keep.  Pure bliss! The exhale is slow and gradual. The air goes though parted lips. The smell, yes! Inhale again and as the cigarette shortens the conscience picks up. Enjoyment and satisfaction burning away ’till there is no need for the thing craved so heatedly. Suddenly ashamed. Ashamed of desire, of weakness. Abstinence allows the thirst to build, the release to be that much more exquisite. But how do we reconcile the release. How do we abstain for so long only to binge when the time is right? When is this time and who will set it? We shall…I shall. Abstinence, like everything must be practiced. Someday I will be a great scholar. And the world will open up to me, the pleasures controlled and exquisite. I shall rule my mind, body and soul. The cigarette will be enjoyed in its entirety, when it is chosen.

Clark and O'Donnell Roadtrip 2012 903

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